1. Be great at what you do.
If you only remember one point from this post, make it this one. If you are great at what you do, a powerful network will form around you with surprisingly little effort. People that work with you will refer others to you for everything from expert advice to employment opportunities. By taking the time and effort to continuously hone your craft, your skills and accomplishments will eventually reach a point where they speak for themselves and people will actively be trying to network with you rather than the other way around.
2. Treat others with genuine kindness and respect
People naturally form stronger bonds with those they enjoy spending time with. Imagine you have two acquaintances who are starting new companies. One is a kind and thoughtful person who treats others respect, the other is a self-centered egomaniac who is often rude to others. Assuming both startups are equally promising, which one are you more likely to introduce to a potential investor? Time and time again I’ve seen people go out of their way to help others when they feel like they are a “good” person, and drag their feet when called on to help people they consider mean or disrespectful.
3. Socialize without ulterior motives
Nobody likes the overly schmoozy person at the party who is clearly just there to add contacts to their LinkedIn profile. I’ve personally found that the most effective way to network at social events is not to try networking at all. Stop seeking out the “power players” and “influencers” and try talking to whoever happens to be around you. More importantly, actually listen to what they have to say. Examples of times when I made some of my most valuable contacts: A party bus, a casual dinner party, and an E-mail intro to someone recruiting for a position I wasn’t interested in. In all three instances, I had no idea they would blossom into valuable relationships. They were just interesting people that I had fun chatting with over a bottle of whiskey, a tasty meal, and a cup of coffee.
4. Don’t be afraid to reach out
I learned this lesson from my friend Josh Schwarzapel. He’s the type of person who decides he needs to talk to someone and then makes it happen no matter what. Case in point, we were bouncing startup ideas back and forth and thought it would be awesome if we could get Reid Hoffman’s opinion. One week later we were sitting in Reid’s office running our idea by him (for the record, Reid is someone who actually lives up to the hype, he is just as brilliant as all the stories suggest). I was dumbfounded that Josh was able to make that happen, and since then I’ve made it a point to never assume that anyone is out of reach. I’ve done things like sending direct E-mails to CEOs asking questions about their business, and more often than not I’ve received a thoughtful response.
5. Stay involved with your communities.
People often underestimate the number of communities they belong to — family, classmates (not just college and grad school, but K-12 too), neighborhood, teams, work colleagues, and so on. Don’t let those connections die. I’ve had old friends reach out to me that I haven’t spoken to in almost a decade, and in some cases, I’ve been able to help them via feedback and introductions. Often times fruitful connections come from unexpected places. The high school slacker might have finally gotten her act together and work at a VC firm that’s the perfect fit for your new startup! Plus it’s always nice to reconnect with old friends. I’ve found that the passage of time has a lot less significance on relationships than we think.